Dialysis
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The Parallel Path
Choosing life while letting go The rook lifts up its ancient crywhere morning stirs the land;it echoes Patrick’s travelling prayersstill guarding field and strand.The wren sings from the moss‑soft hedge,a spark of Brigid’s flame;its blessing like the Living Breadthat knows me by my name.The blackcap from the ash and thornpours song like holy wine;a draught… Continue reading
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From the Depths to the Dawn: A Reflection on Grief, Landscape, and Psalm 130
New on NeuroDivine: From the Depths to the Dawn — a hymn and reflection shaped by Psalm 130, grief, the landscapes of Antrim, and the slow movement from sorrow toward morning. Continue reading
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The Echolocation of Grace
After dialysis, the bats over the River Barrow became unexpected signs of grace. In this reflection, Br Michael explores the intersections of chronic illness, Benedictine stability, and neurodivergent faith in the quiet, liminal space of twilight exhaustion. Continue reading
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The Cloister of the Chair: Stabilitas, Dialysis, and the Inheritance of Care
Before returning north to my dying father’s bedside, dialysis becomes its own vigil—a Benedictine reflection on chronic illness, stabilitas, love, and inherited care. Continue reading
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Under the One Canopy: St Eimhín’s Sky and Mine
Under the same sky, grief, illness, and grace learn to rest. Continue reading
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As Far as I Could Go
After keeping a final night’s vigil for my father, I travelled south for the medical treatment keeping me alive. A reflection on love’s necessary limits. Continue reading
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The Southward Track: A Liturgy of Woven Threads
I was writing the prayers my heart would need before my eyes even knew the shape of the mountain ahead. Continue reading
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When the Writer is Undone
I didn’t expect to cry at my own writing. But rereading a quiet Good Friday moment, I found truth waiting—closer, heavier, and more recognisable than before. Continue reading
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The Empty Chair: A Liturgy of Absence.
Christy’s absence in the dialysis ward creates a profound sense of loss, highlighting the bond with caregivers and shared memories. Continue reading
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The hum of lines
I wrote a poem this week called The Hum of Lines. It is not a bright poem. It sits in the quiet room. It listens to the machine. It hears the slow, steady movement of blood through borrowed pathways. Dialysis has a soundscape. The hum of the pump. The soft alarms. The rhythm that is… Continue reading
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Stay with me in the waiting.
There are days when Jeremiah’s cry—“My anguish, my anguish!”—feels less like something from long ago and more like the body’s own truth. In the dialysis unit, with the soft beeping of the machines and the hush of people doing their best to get through another session, you can hear that same ache. Jeremiah speaks of… Continue reading
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Andrew, this is you.
Some love stories are written in grand gestures. Ours has been written in endurance. This Valentine’s Day, I honour fifteen years of partnership with Andrew—and ten years of civil marriage later this year—not because the dates fall now, but because love that has lived this much deserves to be named whenever the heart nudges. Our… Continue reading
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NeuroDivine Update
A quieter day from me. Dialysis was tougher than expected—my blood pressure dropped sharply, and we couldn’t remove as much fluid as planned. It looks like I’ve put on a bit of weight, which explains the hand and leg cramps even without reaching “dry weight”. So while we tried to regulate the BP, I was… Continue reading
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Nights. Washed. Empty.
Sleep has been hard to come by lately. With my kidneys no longer working and life shaped around thrice‑weekly dialysis, you’d imagine that the hours after treatment—when the blood is cleaned and the body should feel lighter—might bring some rest. But even then, sleep doesn’t come. It’s a strange kind of exhaustion: tired in every… Continue reading
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Machines. Mercy. Meaning.
In the long, measured hours of dialysis, I began to notice how healing is carried not only by machines and medicine, but by the people who sit beside us, the families who steady us, and the landscape we carry within. This hymn‑poem grew from that stillness—a way of naming the courage found in ordinary care,… Continue reading
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Chosen and Kept: The Sacred Liturgy of Presence and Care
In the quiet hum of the dialysis unit, where machines pulse with steady rhythms and time is measured in millilitres, Declan and Marcus find a sanctuary. Their story is not one of mere survival but of abiding joy, friendship, and the sacred dance of queer kinship amidst constraint. Dialysis life imposes limits—fluid restrictions, dietary rules,… Continue reading
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Shift. Grace. Arrival.
A quiet reflection for a day shifted out of rhythm—when plans move, the centre wavers, and yet presence meets you exactly where you are. In the midst of a rearranged moment, a promise settles close. Continue reading
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Trust. Table. Calm.
A hymn of fear met with trust, bread shared in fellowship, and storms stilled by Christ. Continue reading
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Ambulance. Care. Trust.
During dialysis this morning I experienced chest pain and difficulty breathing. I’ve been placed on oxygen and dialysis was stopped so I can be checked out. An ambulance has been called. I ask for your prayers and a little extra grace today. Continue reading
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Seeds. Scars. Solidarity.
In the grain of wheat, in the dialysis chair, in the scars of memory — prayer becomes fruit. Continue reading
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